So you want to talk about journaling

I talk too much!

Not in the sense that I bore people to death in conversation (I hope not😅). I mean in the sense that I am constantly talking to myself. Sometimes it’s helpful to have that internal dialogue to gauge certain situations, but most times it makes me doubt myself. Through counseling over the past year, I realized that this constant internal dialogue with myself has been the main contributor to my anxiety. The constant back and forth with myself distorts my reality.  “Was that an awkward thing to say/do?” Wait, why did you say that? Now they probably think you are dumb. “I haven’t talked to ______ in a while. She probably doesn’t want to be my friend anymore.” Constantly having thoughts like these can be toxic to your mental health. It’s exhausting. 

Let’s Analyze the Evidence

Scientific method= Observation, Research, Hypothesis, Test, Analyze, Conclusions. In the lab, I dutifully  follow the scientific method. In my personal life, it’s more like observation and conclusion. Self doubt and low self esteem creates space in my mind which allows me to jump to conclusions without analyzing the information. Here’s how I analyze information through journaling to help with self doubt and anxiety:

1. Listen to your body.
   Have you ever had a day when you got annoyed with the smallest things? Have you had days where you just don’t feel like yourself and can’t exactly pinpoint why? My answer is yes. During moments like these, I know that I need to pick up my journal. I know that there is an answer to those questions, but it’s buried somewhere in my subconscious. Once I began to write in my journal various thoughts, events, and emotions come up. Once I put all the information together, I can get to the root of my emotions. Journaling helps bring together all my thoughts like a concept map and allow me to see the bigger picture.
   Tip: Go to your safe space. Start by taking a few deep breaths. Just start writing the first thing that comes to mind after those breaths. If you already know what you want to write about thats fine too. Sometimes the hassle of finding a good journal prompt online deters people from journaling.

2. Making a new friend
   I consider my journal a close friend. I talk to my friend a few times a week and after I talk with my friend I always feel better. I struggle with reaching out to people and allowing others to do things for me. Sometimes I want to vent to a friend about how I’m feeling, but struggle to call them. These are the times when I talk to my journal. This has been helpful because instead of having my friends analyze a situation for me, I am doing it myself. I decide what is real and what is fake. I decide my reality. Through journaling, I am learning to trust and love myself.

Other journaling tips:

1. I recommend Pintrest for journaling prompts if you are having a difficult time getting started.

2. You do not need a fancy journal, colored pens, washi tape, stickers, or neat handwriting to journal. When I started to journal I used a plain Moleskine bullet journal from Amazon. I now order my journals from Papier (www.papier.com) because you can customize the outside with your name. People run away from journaling because they think that their journal needs to be aesthetically pleasing. That’s not the case. I love that my journal has coffee stains and crossouts. It adds character. It’s your journal, make it you!

3. Don’t think too much into it. Just breath, and start writing what comes to your mind first. Even if you feel as though the first thing that came to mind is irrelevant or silly, write it down. Everything will eventually connect. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to have the “perfect journal entry.” Things will flow. Sometimes I think that I wont’t have much to say in my journal entries, but then 30 minutes later I am still writing. Also you don’t have to journal for 30+ minutes (like I said I talk a lot with myself lol). Whatever time you have is good enough.

4. Music! I love listening to music when I’m journaling. Put on your relaxing playlist and get writing. Sometimes you can relate with lyrics and include them in your journal entry. If you don’t have a journaling playlist, my chill playlists on Spotify are called Venus and Simply Sabrina Vibes (link top left hand corner).

5. Consistency. Even if you feel as though you are not making connections in your first few entries. Keep going. Enjoy the time that you have set aside to talk to your friend. Things will connect.

Let me know in the comments if you have tried to journal before or if any of these tips were helpful.

Thank you for reading!

~Janay

The Viewfinder

The Viewfinder 

How did I get into film photography?

It was honestly on a whim. It started while I was journaling one night. I used to journal in high school, but stopped once I got to college. I jumped back into journaling about a year ago and it has been helping me in so many ways (I will make a blog post about journaling soon).

So while journaling one night, I looked at my journal and said “My journal is kind of plain.” I don’t use fancy washi tape or make drawings in my journal. I only use colored fountain pens and get to writing. That’s good enough for me, but I thought adding pictures to my journal would be a nice touch. I googled “cool polaroid pictures” and found some on Etsy. I loved the vintage look of the pictures. The woman from the shop told me that she took the photographs with her film camera. From there I began to research film cameras on eBay and YouTube. In my head, I thought “This is cool. It doesn’t look too hard. I want to try it.” I added a film camera to my cart, but didn’t checkout. I thought “ Why should I buy this camera? I’ve never shot a film camera before.”

Two days later, I found myself constantly thinking about that camera in my cart. When I came home from work, I bought the camera. 

How has film help me in my personal life?

Needless to say, I’m so proud of myself for buying that camera. For some people that would not be considered spontaneous, but for me it was spontaneous. I am the type of person who likes to know all the details before diving in. I considered taking film classes before purchasing the camera, so that I would be prepped on how to use it. I am proud of myself for buying the camera because I didn’t restrict myself from trying something new.

Uncertainty makes us uncomfortable.

I think that’s what draws me to film photography more than digital photography.

We live in a world of immediate gratification. You take a picture on your phone, look at it and if you don’t like it you try again. When shooting my first roll of film, I had no idea if I loaded my film correctly and if I was even capturing anything. I was nervous while waiting for my film to be developed. Before opening my email with my scans, I thought “these pictures probably didn’t turn out well”. To this day, that first roll of film has some of my favorite photographs. After that I was addicted to the uncertainty of film photography. 

Film has also helped me really appreciate the beauty in each moment. It has helped me to slow down. I have a busy schedule and tend to rush through things. For example, when I go for a walk in the morning without my camera, I find myself walking faster and in rush to get back to work.

Basically lying to myself saying “I took time for myself” knowing that I was not fully present. When I go for walks with my camera, I notice that my pace is slower and I am actually present.

Every-time I look at my film photographs, I am able to remember the weather, the smell, the conversations around me, who I was with, and how I felt. I am able to capture each moment in my mind and with my camera.

Photography style?

I noticed that I like capturing nature in the morning. I am attracted to the morning light, especially in my bedroom and living room. I cant explain why, there’s just something about it. I don’t usually take many pictures of people, but that’s something I’m trying to get into.

Overall, I love film photography. I love the way it makes me feel. I would say that film photography is another form of journaling for me. Another way to reflect. Another way to view myself and others.

Do you guys like film? How does film make you feel? Do you have any similar feeling or thoughts about photography?