Transparency

I’ve contemplated making this post because I was afraid of judgement. But then I remembered why I started this blog. It’s a safe space for us to share and explore. I hope that by sharing my experiences others are able to relate and take comfort in the fact that they are not alone.

I have been blessed with two great parents who always worked to make sure that I had what I needed plus more. However, there were times when I was sad and couldn’t really pinpoint why. I was told that you have everything, you shouldn’t be sad. Looking back now, it seems that we were brought up to believe that we always need to have a reason to feel a little sad (probably a reason somewhere in our subconscious ). But anyway, sometimes you just feel a little down and that’s okay. As long as you recognize it and work towards getting back to a healthy mental state. And that’s the point of this post.

My mental state over the past quarter in my master’s program has not been the best and my usual coping mechanisms have not be as effective as usual. I started medication to help with my anxiety and depressive episodes. I was skeptical of starting the medication because I thought “I am not sad all the time, I just struggle with my anxiety.” After thinking about past experiences, I realized that I struggled with depressive episodes in the past and just pinned it on stress.

I was also afraid to make this post because I don’t want others thinking that I am unstable or constantly sad. I genuinely laugh and smile a lot and am happy with my life, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have depressive episodes sometimes. Depressive episodes include lack of motivation, decreased excitement about things that normally make you happy, irritability, fatigue, and physical symptoms such as headaches and hives. It’s not just sadness. Although I was skeptical about starting the medication, I realized that I am working to become the best version of myself and if that includes taking something to better my mental health, I will do that.

As always

Thank you for reading,

~Janay