Showing Up

This quarter in my Masters program feels different. I noticed at the beginning of the quarter that I was lacking motivation. That lack of motivation was due to the fact that I was going to miss having more time for myself. The lack of motivation that I am feeling now at week 5 is different. I am exhausted and don’t want to get out of bed in the morning. I am not excited about my classes and my program. I am able to get things done, but finding the motivation to do things is becoming harder. I am starting to question “ Is this for me if I am not motivated or excited about it?”

Despite the exhaustion and lack of motivation, I managed to make time to exercise daily this week. I cooked dinner for myself everyday this week. I took 10 minute breaks. I washed and folded my clothes. Yes, these are very mundane activities, but I see them as me showing up for myself. I may not have been as productive as I wanted to this week, but despite the many challenges I still got out of bed, exercised, and cooked. Although I have been struggling to get going with my school work, I am taking small steps to get back to that motivation and excitement that I had at the beginning of my program. I was told that “motivation follows action.” I am going through the motions, taking action and staying hopeful that motivation will follow.

Thank you for reading,

~Janay