The mind of an anxious person: Navigating friendships and relationships

Stoneleigh: a natural garden

In today’s society I believe that many people suffer with anxiety, especially since the pandemic began. But, there are some people who don’t struggle with anxiety and don’t know how to properly navigate a relationship with an anxious person. The goal of this blog post is to provide tips (from my personal experience as an anxious) to help others get a better understanding of an anxious mind.

• Sometimes you may think that your friend doesn’t care about you because they haven’t talked to you in a while

  • Trust me your anxious friend has thought about you several times. They thought about texting/calling you, but got nervous and decided not to. Don’t jump to conclusions. Just ask. Reach out first. They will have such a sigh of relief and may not be as hesitant to reach out the next time they are thinking about you. Be patient.

• Words of Support! (This one is very important to me)

  • When your anxious friend is triggered and feeling down, the worst things to say (again in my opinion) is “you’ll be fine”, “you’re overreacting”, “it’s not that bad”. These statements are very dismissive. It just sounds as though you aren’t taking the time to hear them. In these moments, I would suggest statements like

    • “I see you.

    • “I’m proud of you.”

    • “I hear you”

    • “I understand”

    • “No matter what happens. I am here.”

    • “I support you and your decisions”

  • These are more encouraging and sound less dismissive.

• An anxious mind is always running with scenarios

  • Be patient. Be open-minded. My face tends to show when my mind is racing with thoughts. Sometimes when people ask me what’s wrong or why my mood kind of changed, I don’t want to completely spill all the thoughts in my head because it’s a lot. But if you are patient, welcoming, and open to understanding, your friend will feel more comfortable sharing some of their thoughts. You may be able to help take their mind off of those thoughts.

  • I have been taking a medication to help with my anxiety and can say that I don’t have as many thoughts racing through my mind as I did before. The anxious thoughts are not gone, but it’s a bit quieter in my head and has allowed me to focus. I feel as though having less anxious thoughts in my head have allowed me focus better on my school work. This has been my best quarter.

I hope these are helpful when navigating your relationships with friends and family.

As always,

Thank you for reading,

~Janay